FOR SOMEBODY WHO HAS ALWAYS LOVED ME AS A LITTLE BOY: To Bianca on our 1st anniversary

As far as I can remember, I’m fond of daydreaming. Ever since I was a toddler, my mind always drifts off somewhere. I don’t know if it’s ever considered normal to have daydreams as often as I have them…anyway, I still have that odd habit until now. You might say I have a very wild imagination, thanks to the television. I’m not very fond of books (although I read when I’m not lazy which is a very rare occasion). Why read if you can watch them? Wicked TV, made me an addict. I love TV so much I watch even the TV. Guide channel. I curse the day my parents banned me from watching TV on weekdays! Now back to daydreaming. What are daydreams anyway? Is it a desperate attempt to escape from reality?
Maybe it’s also the main reason why I love toys.

I love making Wolverine, Lone Ranger, and Rambo fight against each other in our sofa as a little boy. I feel like crying when I receive a gift that feels soft. Why do people give clothes as gift to kids? Don’t they know kids don’t appreciate them? When I was a little boy, every time I ask my parents to buy me a toy (which is most of the time an action figure by the way), they always answer back: “na-out grow mo na yang mga laruan na yan.” That’s why until now, toys are my frustration.

When I was in kinder, I didn’t like school. I cried on my first day at school. And on my second day. And on my third. I told myself back then that once I finish college, I’m going to stop going to school. Now here I am taking up nursing as a second course. Am I childish? I don’t know. Maybe I am. I hate being a grown up. Growing up means having more problems. What’s my point?

Last June 14 I just turned 21. I don’t feel like I’m 21 and I don’t look like I’m 21. It was just like any other day. I drove my mom to her appointment, and then we ate lunch, got home, did some errands, went to church, ate dinner, and so on and so forth. That night, I couldn’t sleep. As usual I don’t know why. Maybe it was because I was thinking about a lot of things. God, I’m already 21. Some people my age already has a family…and a job. Then, I suddenly remembered that I have a lot of things to be thankful for. I am thankful for having a girlfriend. It was one year ago when I received a phone call just minutes before June 14 ended. So this is how it feels like to have a girlfriend. For me, starting that day, I always felt that somebody is connected to me. It’s like I have a twin somewhere. Argh…I can’t explain it. It’s like I am bonded to somebody; I feel attached anywhere I go. I am so madly in love with my girlfriend.

Last June 14, I was reminiscing of the so many days we have been together. No, our relationship is not perfect. There’s no such thing. I don’t care how many times we argued about not seeing each other, about me not replying immediately to her text or about missing a movie. I just love her. So what does this have to do with daydreams? Well as I told you earlier I couldn’t sleep. So I went outside and sat on our garage. The sky was empty. I was disappointed not to see any stars that night. Then I started thinking of how old I already, I’m already 21. My mind started to drift. Have I done something wrong in the past? Did I make a wrong decision somewhere in my life? Then I had this imagined: God would make me go back to being a 6 year old boy. But, he was going to make my memory intact so I could remake my life over again. Then something struck me. Where would my Bianca be? I thought hey, I could try to contact her, find her phone number or something. But what was I going to say? “Hi it’s me, Batchoy, your future boyfriend! You love me and I love you.” Nope, that won’t work. Maybe I’ll just have to wait until I meet her then. What, like wait for 18 years and court her again?! But then I thought what if something happens and we didn’t meet. Where was I going to find her? Cebu? Davao? That’s when I started to feel a lump on my throat and a tear in my eye. Stupid sentimental boy. It was a daydream. But you know what? It was a reality check for me. I realized I was too busy looking for the mistakes I had done in my life, I couldn’t accept the fact that I am growing up…that I was no longer a boy. I realized have so much to be thankful for. Surprisingly I felt sleepy at last. I got up and went back to bed. I lied down comfortably then suddenly just before I slept I remembered something, I reached for my cellphone and stared at the picture that made me happy since June 14, 2005.

you just gotta love him.~sigh!

fine. i'm guilty. shoot me.

i really really like dennis trillo. how could you not?

Alright...these are definitely not his most compromising pictures but hey...he still looks cute,doesn't he?

gawd...help me.

21 Questions

Can you name 21 people you can think of right off the top of your head? Dont read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 21 people. Ready, Start!

1.bong
2.cheska
3.jenny
4.marvi
5.rach
6.xyla
7.elena
8.sheena
9.romeo
10.jopet
11.mae s.
12.audie
13.francia
14.charisse
15.ode
16.faith
17.gel
18.cherry
19.jonathan
20.rjay
21.manying

THE QUESTIONS:

1. How did you meet 14?>>
sa school.forever seat-mate, co-ojt-er, dancing partner.hay.

2. What would you do if you never met 6?>>
life wouldn't be as pleasant as it is now.:-)

3. What would you do if 20 and 9 dated?>>
*knock on wood* not funny.

4.Did you ever like 5?>>
sobra.mahal ko yan.

5. Would 4 and 12 make a good couple?>>
what? no!

6. Describe 8>>
crazy, sexy, beautiful. ~wink~

7. Do you think 13 is attractive?>>
sobra. :-)

8.Tell me something about 17>>
a true friend in every sense of the word(/s?!)

9. Do you know any of 4's family members?>>
hay.gusto mo pati cousins? ilan?

10. What's 21's favorite color?>>
blue. forever blue. amen.

11. What would you do if 18 confessed he/she likes you?>>
ahahaha! planting ginseng,planting ginseng!

12. what language does 20 speak?>>
filipino, english, bataan-enio?!

13. Who is 9 going out with?>>
yikee! noon si sh-----..nyewewewe! hindi niyo alaaaam!!!

14. What year is 16 in?>>
graduate na kami niyan.

15. When's the last time you talked to 13?>>
tagal na…mga May, before I got a job.

16. What is 2's favorite band?>>
CUESHE! ahahaha!

17. Would you ever date 7?>>
been there, done that.

18. Would you ever date 12? :>>
lunch date,recess date…kahit ano.

19. Is 15 single?>>
of course not! hinihintay ko nalang kasal.

20. What is 19's last name?>>
lau. As in j.lau.

21. Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 11?>>
ahahaha! if i could,i definitely would!

22. What school does 3 go to?>>
Miriam.

23. Where does 15 live?>>
Las Pinas. the 'over nyt-an" house. ;-)

24. What's your favorite thing about 10?>>
he knows how to treat women.sweet. :-)

25. Have you seen number 1 naked?>>
si bong?! hahahaha.

(will be) on blog-leave...again.

will be leaving for Cebu for a conference.
hey,hey,hey mga bai! kita-kits after 7 years!

kinikilig ako! :-)

new everything

there are some things that I just can't contain.I hope I don't bore you to death with these.:-)

Yes people...contrary to popular belief, I do have a job. I'm now an official tax payer; part of the working class.Damn.I snagged the job one week after my initial interview.I'm now an Administrative Assistant at Glaxo Smithkline's Performance Effectiveness Resounce Group Department (PERG).Still a casual, but with a great chance of being a regular.October will be the decision month for me so I'm really really determined to do great with this.2 weeks had been absolutely different for me.Waking up at 5:45 every morning was...i mean IS...hell.Riding the MRT daily makes hell such an understatement.Try multiplying the feeling exponentially,now that would somewhat amount to what I feel.Walking,though with promises of burning cellulite in my thighs (which accumulated during my short-lived vacation, by the way),3 blocks from Magallanes station is terrible.That's why I'm forced to stick with my trustee flat-shoes as my daily footwear (and I was so excited to use my pumps.They match all my office-wear,ya know!?) Speaking of daily apparel, corporate clothing as my daily get-up was really a 180 degree turn from my usual jeans and t-shirt get-up.Now that it's been 2 weeks since I started working,I'm afraid it's time, sad to say,for me to "ulit" my blouses.I can't wait for payday.

A lot of changes had occurred,really. New job instantly means new life. I had to mature;grow-up eventhough I don't want to (yet..hehe).But that's life.The cliche sucks but that's true. I hate it that I don't get to see Batchoy that often anymore.Once a week would be an indulgence. I get to talk to him every now and then though,using the company phone of course :-) Oh,and I'm ecstatic that I have my own working cube already: my own computer, own desk, own everything.Next week,I'm gonna start stuffing it with some of my room stuff...just so I could give it a personal touch (naka-ng-shet!).I'm glad that people at PERG are super bait. I never felt out-of-place from the moment I stepped in that Monday morning. I'm so thankful also that they're uber patient with me, you know, being new and stuff.I love that I have good work mates.I love that all of us in PERG are all girls.GIRL POWER TO THE NTH LEVEL ;-)

I had my hair cut to.Just like Angel Aquino's.It's new...and different...but just like my life so far, it's awesome.

Confused with this entry? Read my profile.I love irony. ;-)